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Inside Tech: Fluidata vs. Leicester City

12 · MAY ·2016

Leicester City Football Club are the Premier League champions. Just let that sink in for a second. As a Leicester fan, I’m quite literally the happiest person in the world. However as a Fluidata employee, I am actually quite worried – and you should be too. Think about it, if Leicester can become champions of the Premier League so easily, just imagine if they get into the connectivity business, it could be curtains for us all. They’d clean us out on half the budget. Luckily for you, I’ve got your back. As an unverified genius on both connectivity and Leicester City, I’m uniquely positioned to hypothesize the outcome of a Fluidata and Foxes face-off. How would that work you ask? Well, I’ll show you, that’s sort of what this is, yeah. I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking, “But Dan, your allegiances are torn here; on one hand you support Leicester City with all your heart and on the other hand you work for Fluidata with all your brain, how can you possibly put together a fair argument, surely you will be TOTALLY biased??!!??” Well yes, I will be. Let the games begin!

Defence

N’Golo Kanté is the best defensive midfielder in the world right now. He’s so quick at covering ground that he’s being lined up by the United Nations to replace grass after the nuclear war wipes it all out. Seriously, the only way he could intercept more balls was if he were my neighbour’s back garden.

Tough competition then, but I’ll tell you what Fluidata can do defensively. Well for starters there is the no single point of failure core network spread over 18 UK data centres. This means that if something does go wrong, you’re automatically rerouted and you never even notice anything happened. It’s like repeatedly conceding goals but then having them all ruled out for being offside. Throw in the 24/7 support, live chat, and dedicated account management and you have a team that even Kanté can’t mark. Goal Fluidata!

Agility

Riyad Mahrez can twist and turn so well that he is often mistaken for something that can twist and turn so well (please email me with a decent reference). He possesses that low centre of gravity that allows him to receive a ball whilst almost sitting down, retain his balance and pirouette away from his opponent like a ballerina in blue shorts.

However, Fluidata is a seriously agile business that has the ability to rapidly respond to change. This allows them to adapt to market changes in both cost-effective and productive ways. This ability to remain flexible means that they can offer truly unique and tailored solutions that fit an individual’s needs and requirements at any given point. Goal Fluidata!

Speed

It’s a fact; Jamie Vardy is the fastest man in the Premier League and has been clocked in at running 22mph. To put that into perspective, Usain Bolt is only around 6mph quicker. Very impressive, but do you know who is not impressed? Albert Einstein.

Listen, I’m not going to pretend that I understand the theory of general relativity, or basic math, or spelling or grammar, but I do know that fibre optics travel at the speed of light. Einstein calculated this at being 186,000 miles per second and if my own calculations are correct then a Fluidata Ethernet connection is over 30 million times faster than Vardy. Just like your high school teacher always said Jamie, you may be quick over 100 metres but you can’t outrun maths, kid. Goal Fluidata!

Final Score: Fluidata 3-3 Leicester City

Well, there you have it, much like a symmetrical internet connection where you get the same speeds going up and down (perfect if you’re uploading a lot of data or using SIP) it’s a tie.

I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking “But Dan, it wasn’t a tie, Fluidata won 3-0, right?” Well, let me answer your question with a question?
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Posted by Sanita Karra